broom 2

WARNING Trigger Warning - All Triggers! - All of them! WARNING

>be me, Heathcliff the Vampire >i have merged with my vampire >this will happen if the vampire senses you are aligned with their motives >they do this so they can use your superior social skills to assimilate into society >and operate in more clandestine, less batshit ways >but they’re always testing you >and they’re always giving you a greater share of the sin >entrapment by guilt >and they can still eject your consciousness into a gaseous limbo >and they can still hurt you >and they often do >i've trained myself to live in accordance with the notion that i'm going to be tortured by this thing for eternity >i’ve developed a personal philosophy >to live in pain and torture and my own personal hell for eons >with the pain i’ve caused >and with the memories >and the eternal return of such painful memories >anyways >recently i turned my Good Witch gf into a vampire >then her coven killed her >in a Speedway parking lot >i’ve been researching a way to resurrect her >but >then i thought >she wants to be there >she’s happy there >but i have something >that will have her come runnin >back down to earth >cause i know my Mistrial >i’m gonna fuck a really gross fat dude >just the ultimate form of sexual self harm and degredation >i just need the vampire to cooperate >because she >i’m calling her Zed >she keeps killing the gross fat dudes i’m trying to fuck >and i tell her >dude, you’re like a horse >or a kid with autism >you need help >you need to limit your exposure to stimulus >ease up a bit >but vampires have no chill >so i buy a sensory deprivation suit >now, gross fat dudes with tiny dicks are skittish >you can’t woo them >you have to make yourself convenient >extremely convenient >but never in a scary way >and i happen to be a very scary person >attached to a very scary entity >so i fold myself up in my deprivation suit >with just my pussy and ass hanging out >and slide it under the door of a toilet stall >and wait >and my guy comes running in >i can still kinda hear >so i’m blabbing internally >just trying to distract the inner vampire >and this fat fuck runs right over me >he’s taking a panicked shit in the stall >and i’m all roped up >and he’s blasting the bowl with ass batter >and he starts kicking me >he’s kicking me ineffectively >trying to scooch me out of the way >so he can get some privacy >and he’s whining >he sounds like woody allen >he’s saying aw gwad this is so hawrahble >aw gwad >and i am struck with the full force of raw sewage >very clingy >very oily >back of my throat >up into my nose >and i gag immediatel >the nausea kicks my salivary glands into overdrive >i’m gagging on loads of befouled saliva >i’m wretching >Zed is unaffected by shit smells >she could end this >but she is taking a back seat >she is cooly observing me >i’m ass up in a toilet stall hoping a fat disgusting guy will fuck me to make my Good Witch gf jealous and the vampire is taking this as an opportunity to deliver a moral lesson through peaceful non-interference >i’m being condescended to >by a creature that is so low >it’s not even classified as living. >anyways >once he’s finished >he does stop to dump a load in me >and scurries off >i think he says ‘fwank you’ >which is nice >it’s nice to be thanked for services rendered >but my Mistrial does not descend from heaven >i guess she really loves it up there >i’m having a hard time dealing with that >i really love her >I really want to be with her >i guess i’ll try something else >i don’t know what to do >i’d become christian >and try to get into heaven >but i can’t look at bibles >can’t look at crosses >can’t enter into a church >can’t speak the names >and i have a vampire watching my every move and thought. >be me, Mistrial the Good Angel >i’m watching my slurpee vampire gf get fucked in a toilet stall by a very sick, sad man in body, mind, and spirit >i know she’s trying to shock me >i know she wants me to come down >and become the avenging spirit >but this sort of sad deprivation is just par for the course of the world >a world that i’m no longer part of >and i wish she could just see >that as long as she follows the path of love >we’ll be together in the end >but she’s just trying to trick me >and she’s humiliating herself >so i’ll feel like i have to come and save her >but i’m not the path of salvation >i’m just one of its fruits >a peach >hanging in its orchard >i hope she sees this some day >i have a long time to wait —------------------------ >be me, Heathcliff, etc. >so, me and Zed >”Zed and I” >we were reading about witches >we have a book called >THE BIG BOOK OF WITCHES >we wanted THE REALLY BIG BOOK OF WITCHES >but we make do >because we don’t really know much about witches >so any new information is welcome >sure, >they ride brooms >they can cast spells >they make potions >and they can hex people >but aren't all of these things really the same thing? >isn’t a spell just a hex? >why brew a potion if you can just cast a spell? >i just don't understand >Mistrial said it was like thinking reality into being >and at the time i think i said okey yeah uh-huh >and then sucked and fucked and scratched her skin off >but i wish i had listened >anyhow >it says that witches are at their strongest during the full moon >they are also attracted to cats, wolves, wolves with masks, and other dangerous creatures >they can do dark or light magic, and eat people >I do remember >Mistrial saying cannibalism was a big part of dark magic >but none of that really matters >because right now >i am driving a ferrari testarossa >at high speeds >down the California 1 >just beautiful coastline >and this car >i found it in a barn >i just found it >in a red barn >did you know that red is the most common color in the universe? >within the spectrum of visible light >it’s just an interesting fact >and i have red hair >and when you become a vampire >your eyes turn red >you drink red blood >if you think about how many civilizations must be out there >in outer space >just starting >developing >or wasting away somewhere in the infinite beyond >there has to be a lot of vampires >because once we’re in we kind of take over >and we outlive everything else >and we’ll be here forever >so it’s possible that vampires are also the most common form of consciousness in the universe >somewhere out there are countless failed earths just stacked full of dormant vampires waiting for some interstellar civilization to come and dig up their tombs >and the ferrari testarossa happens to be >the most beautiful car in the universe >and this one >it feels nonstandard! >and it's all mine >because i killed its owners while they were sleeping >it’s okay though >they deserved it >they were hateful misogynistic rapists >right? >isn’t that how it works? >it’s acceptable >to see stupid people suffer >it’s fun >to see mean people suffer >it’s soothing >to see criminals suffer >and they absolutely was all those things >you believe me don’t you? >you should >because we can’t get along otherwise >and i want us to be the best of friends >so it’s good that they were particularly evil >and greedy >they stole >from poor people >from indigenous people >from grannies >you’re probably going to see me kill a lot of people >so i’ll just tell you now >they’re all evil in ways that track extremely well with general audiences. >anyways >what i'm doing now >is going back to the beginning >to the Mouth of the Mountain coven >to get some answers >and i'd get there sooner >but i crash the car >and wrap myself around a big pine >and i lose a week putting myself back together >and when i'm done >i'm ravenous for blood >but luck delivers >i stagger up to a sorority camp outing >and they're so good to me >and they all descend around me >and welcome me into their confidence >and start nursing me back to health >and ofcourse i suck and fuck and drain one of them >and they find the body >and they all know it's me >but i say ladies it's a genuine caper >and they say no they know it's me >because i'm a filthy bedraggled vagabond that roamed into their camp >and they all know each other >and they’ve been friends since grade school >and i'm the obvious creepy outlier >but they make the mistake of trying to apprehend me >because they're all beefed up sorority girls on athletic scholarships >and i'm, presumably, a skinny waif >having been in a pretty bad way, after dying and all >so, anyways, the sorority girls, they come for me >and i snap their limbs >and when they're all strewn out like broken furniture >and snapped up like barbies >i think about how much property damage i just did their parents >the value of every broken bone >and torn nostril >and missing ear >missing cheek >i probably did tens of millions of dollars in damages >and i know how much i was worth at that age >cause i saw the dollar bills change hands >and i say ladies >i honestly feel >it could have been any one of us >who did the murder >a real caper >so i skip out on them >and i'm feeling good >because i have their lip balm >and black raybans >and tie dye camp shirt >red and black plaid button-up >daisy dukes >and a big cowboy belt buckle >cowboy boots >i’m Heathcliff the Vampire Cowgirl >and i feel like i spent some real quality time with the girls >feels like the sort of time i missed out on when i was that age >that's meaningful >so i pop into their porsche boxster >and i toss out the taylor swift cds >and i'm back on the road >and yeah >i may have some dark and unwanted thoughts intruding on my mind in a noxious and repetitive nature >but they can't keep up with a porsche boxster >with the top down >with the great american roadways unrolling in their impossible expansiveness Part 2 >so’s >i hear from the radio >they're shutting down either end of the road i'm on >because someone’s been murdering in the area >but that don’t matter >i'm pulling off >into the area around the coven >the general area >because you can't find a coven >without getting lost first >so i start getting lost >and you smell it before you see it >smells like a wild cat >putrescine >cadaverine >covered up by smoke and vapors >then their little witchy sculptures start popping up >fractured, disjointed >black symbols and shrines to persephone >to hecate >to the furies >and you see their gardens >witches have great gardens >toxic plants >bright and metallic >hallucinogenic plants >strange fluted flowers >death bell trumpets >and a lot of animal bones intermingled >they just go so hard with the animal bones >like, i get it >you kill a lot of hapless animals >a lot of subliminal things to try and wreck my day >but nothing is going to wreck my day >i’m in the zone >what’s it like for you when you’re in the zone? >for me, it’s when i don’t have to be me >i don’t have to show any externalities that make me “me” >i can just focus on the matter at hand >here and there i feel i see someone watching me from among the trees >but i’m feeling spry >i’ve had my fill o’ blood >so i walk right into the big cavern >the mouth of the mountain >and it looks like a party went on >there’s a lot of really nice recycled wood benches and bars and >and everything is actually really nice and state of the art >ambient lighting for bands >video screens >iron maiden pinball >it kind of looks like a biker bar >but i head on deeper in >and sure there’s a lot of spooky carcasses >but it’s not anything i wouldn’t decorate with >and that’s when i turn into this big watery cavern >with a bunch of stalagmites and stalactites >running up and down from the ceiling >like organ pipes >and a projector flashes images across the far cave wall >it’s footage of me cut open >and crucified >my organs splayed out >they’re digging their hands in through my quivering organ meat >they have handfuls of my blood mingled with trinkets >they’re plopping the trinkets into my soft wriggling tissues >stashing them in among my heart >my kidneys >my liver >my intestinal track >they drop a metal phallus in me >an’ i feel like i can feel it in there now >a profane lump weighing in my bowels >they’re hammering pins into my bones >they’re burning runes into my bones >they’re smiling >wet smiles >when >one of them pisses into my open body >i say hey now >i say there’s no reason for that >there’s all kinds of pissing going on into my open cadaver now >big fucking chicken-frying piss-streams >into my open corpse >seems rude i say >seems rude >might be a cultural thing though >but now they’re >they’re kind of forcing a bunch of thorny branches >up into my ass >and my cooter >so i guess they’re kind of just raping me >and torturing me >which i find difficult to assume is part of some broader spectrum of cultural practices >could be ignorance on my part >i didn’t read about it in my BIG BOOK OF WITCHES >but i bet it’s in the REALLY BIG BOOK OF WITCHES >under ritual scarification of anal sock and birthing canal >should have sprung for the REALLY BIG BOOK OF WITCHES >but so now that they’ve shown me that >they emerge from the darkness of the caves >one big bear looking witch >one big wolf looking witch >one big boar looking witch >and something tells me i’ve met these three before >and they ask me how do i like the presentation >and i say the presentation is fine >suits me fine >and they say i’m destined to return >over and over again >and i say that’s fine by me >and they say i’m their puppet >that i’ve been here countless times >and they keep handing me back out >to do their bidding >in the witch war >there’s bad blood among the covens >and they’ll be sending me back out >just as soon as they’ve eaten from me >and raped me >and gored me >and i say ladies >ladies, please >don’t y’all start on me at once >and they make a move on me >and i move to break them >to snap their limbs like barbie dolls >but my strength quits me >and the big pig looking one >she grabs hold my quivering arm >and i’m like a child >and i look for Zed >and i say what are you fucking doing >and Zed is just >she’s not doing anything >she’s just in stasis >and i say i could possibly use you right now >but she’s not doing anything >and pigwitch is yanking me around >she’s yanking me so hard >she’s shredding up the muscles in my arm >and i think >oh fuck i have been here before >i have been in this cave >i have been in this cage >i’ve been here so many times before >and i can hear myself pleading >to pig witch >i can hear myself trying to clarify >i can hear myself asking for understanding >and none of these things are me >i’m not in the zone >i am no longer in the zone >i have been ejected from the zone >discharged from the zone >i have never even seen the zone >because they’re splittin’ me up >they’re bursting me open >they’re taking their time with it >they’re laughing >they have all what they want >and i have nothing >i am nothing >i’m just a pathetic plaything >and it just keeps going on >and i’m puking >and i’m crying >and this horrible future >it speaks of an evil i have known my whole life >it keeps descending on me >it says i am defeated >it says i am humiliated >and i say i know >i say i have always known >and i give myself up to it >and i say i’m sorry >and i beg their forgiveness >and after a while they hold up >and they whisper in my ear >that what makes it fun >is that i was once destined for something great >that i was once loved >but now i’m a piece of shit vampire queer >and the lowest of the low >and they say that makes it the most fun >that i’m nothing >and i say i’m nothing >and i just ask them please >let me go >and they say no >it’s a process >i’m not ready yet >they’ll know when i’m ready >not me >i’m so wet >in a cell >and it’s all stone around me >and there’s a television playing >but there’s no controls to the tv >and one incandescent dangling from a wire >and there’s no way to turn em off >there’s just a drain >and i’m calling to Zed >i’m asking her to wake up >i’m asking her to do something >but she’s not moving >and i’m being passed around >i’m being used >i’m being raped and ruined >and they harvest my body >and they eat of me >and i’m put in with other people >to tear em up like an animal >and at some point >i get the inkling >that i have to do something >that it has to be me >Heathcliff >but i have nothing >so i start writing on the walls >but all i have is my blood >and i’m writing on the walls >just gross little pictograms >horrible little hangmen >then larger grotesques >and the more i make >o these pictograms >the more they start making sense to me >they’re a story of something greater >something greater than myself >and i feel like i’m not so alone >i feel like i belong to something >but all i can do in the time i’m not being drugged >or abused >or vivisected >or raped >or eaten >or gored >all i can do is sleep or cry or paint with my entrails >then one day i find a little ‘gram >a little pictogram >and this one i didn’t do >i find it on a shelf of rock >it belongs to someone else >it’s a lil’ kilroy >and for a moment >for a moment i’m really happy >i’m just happy to see this lil beacon of weirdness >in a place so unexpected >and it must have been done by someone >in a situation similar to my own >and i feel a little connection with them >but how can a stinky lil’ kilroy help me >and i lie down in the muck >and i despair >because all my time is wasted >and i keep mumbling the same old shit to myself >and i’m hungry >my vampire is hungry >but she’s not doing anything >she’s just sitting there >like an asshole >and i wait for them >because that’s all i can do >i wait for them >and one day they let me go >they say it’s your time >and i’m back out into the coastal redwoods >into the wet jungle >reaching up for life >and i can feel >i can feel what a tremendous evil i am >i am trembling with the weight of deprivation >and rage >and my vampire is back >and she is primed >with all they did to us >she is ready to turn it all back on the world >and she is ready to turn on the slightest bit of life >she is ready to split a squirrel in half >and i’m out in the ferns >foraging for bugs >for what seems like hours >i’m just eating bug blood >and frass >and coughing on wings >and out in the fields >i see a little girl >and i think this can’t be me >i think what have they done to me >and i walk up on her >and i’m about as scared of her as i’ve ever been >and she sees me >and she starts to run >and i run after her >and i know she can’t outrun me >and she can’t outrun Zed >and the sun is coming up >and she’s backed up in a hollow >she’s backed up in a goose pen >and i’m tearing the hard wood out >i’m tearing iron wood out to get at her >be me, Mistrial the Good Angel >i’m thumbing through an old copy of Better Homes & Gardens >i can’t believe people used to read this shit (TO BE CONTINUED)