>be me, quadriplegic castrati bonky >i’m coming out of surgery >the doctor says there were some complications >i tell him to fetch me a mirror >he says that might not be good for me right now >i yell at him to FETCH ME A GODDAMN MIRROR >he hands it to me >i look at it >my face is totally perfect >which makes sense, since I was never going in for face surgery >it would have been weird for my surgeon to do face surgery >when I went in for leg and penis replacements >and that’s when I notice it >the horse-hoof holding the mirror >it’s no horse-hoof at all >it’s a zebra hoof! >on a zebra leg! >i smash the mirror >i begin laughing maniacally >thunder strikes >the doctor cowers in fear >i laugh >a laugh beyond the normal limits of acceptable laughter >the POV gently drifts away >away from the horse with zebra legs and a baby elephant’s trunk for a penis >away from the insane laughter >away from the old, weathered castle >out into the storm of the ages